“Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.”
-Garrison Keillor
Update: Make sure to read my follow up post of final thoughts too.
Today, I received perhaps the funniest comment on an article I have ever received. Two, actually; both by the same anonymous author. They were:
–“douchebag”
-“Please do us all a favor and just post pictures of the fish, you look like a douchebag”
I have to admit, that I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw these! I am sure that this person really was out to draw blood; which is a lovely thing to do the day after Christmas… but stuff like this I just find hilarious. I am also surprised it hasn’t happened to my blog earlier…
However, it didn’t hurt at all… to the contrary…
I spent the first 12 years of my life with an abusive parent. When we moved out, I started my first job washing dishes in a bar for the man I that I now call “Dad”, simply so I could have a little bit of money to spend on myself. I spent my teenage years as a “bar hound”. Later, I was in fraternity in college.
Nothing anyone can do, or say, will ever offend me.
In the course of my experiences in life; be it the parent I have disowned, in the bar where I was pretty much raised, my fraternity, etc.; I have heard every manner of comment; some that has been directed at me. What I have learned over the course of my life is that these comments say much more about the person saying them then they ever will about the target they are directed at…
These comments are funny to me for that exact reason… You think you left an anonymous comment on some strangers blog. True, I have no idea who you are. But from the 19 words you left in my comments, I already know more about you then you can possibly imagine.
But here is why I am singling you out:
Bullying is a huge and serious problem in this country. It happens most commonly in schools; but can happen at every level of society. Often it happens in quiet dark places that no one sees; and often those affected are too ashamed to bring it to light.
Not me.
My life experiences helped me to develop a tough skin, so stuff like this doesn’t bother me. Not everyone who is bullied is so lucky… I have seen just how much bullying can hurt in the faces of friends and family.
I am not going to post anymore information about this anonymous poster; only his words. Heck, the email address they left is most likely fake anyways. And judging by their comments, they hated my blog and will never come back anyways. It doesn’t even matter to me that this person will never read this post.
Here is the point:
We as a society cannot allow behavior like this to exist. When we see it, no matter how big or small, we must bring it out of the darkness and into the light. Only when we pull back the curtains of anonymity will we be able to expose these people for what they are…
And only then, in front of our society as a whole, be able to start to teach the lessons that will finally rout out this behavior once and for all.
I am able to shrug off these comments. Not everyone is so strong. We must not allow comments like this or any other type of bullying to be tolerated; and we must stand up in the name of those affected by bullying who are not able to stand up themselves. This is true for comments that are racist, sexist, homophobic, or any other type…
I don’t care if the person who left these comments ever sees this post. No comments like this are okay…
Ever.
That is why we must speak up when we see actions like this, in whatever form they take. We must remove the vail of secrecy so it is not the bullied that is ashamed; but the bully.
This comment is small in the grand scheme of things, but many like it are not.
Oh, and to the person who left those comments…
I am not going to respond to your comment about my looks. Your words speak for themself.
I am only going to say thanks for the good hardy laugh!
But…
If you are only concerned with the pictures of fish, you have clearly missed the entire point of fishing (and this blog)… Henry David Thoreau said it best…
“Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing it is not the fish they are after.”
Fishing is an experience; and yes, catching fish is part of that experience. But is not the only part. Heck, it is not even the focus. For me, fishing is about spending time with myself, Little E, and mother nature. It has taken on a meaning in my life that is spiritual.
The best fishing trip I had all year was a trip to Grove Lake and Verdigre Creek Nebraska to go trout fishing… and I didn’t catch a single trout. I caught one tiny bluegill, and a largemouth bass that was an inch and a half long. Despite the failure of the actual fishing, the trip was a success because I spent the whole day around this…
That picture is clearly better than any picture of a fish I have caught… So go get your “fish porn” somewhere else.
Oh… and enjoy the picture of ME and a largemouth I caught at the top of this post…
And if you don’t like my blog, start your own, use your REAL contact info, and tell me why I am wrong. Hell, I will even follow you…
To everyone else:
Join me in standing up for what is right; and in helping to rout out bullying, in whatever form it may take. Not everyone has the power to brush it off, or even stand up for themselves.
Merry Christmas,
E
Update: Make sure to read my follow up post of final thoughts too.
Flies Over Nebraska 
Wow is all I can say. I read a lot of blogs, E, but never in a million years did I expect to hear a comment like this on yours. I appreciate the fact that you want everyone to put a stop to bullying, and I’m behind you 100 percent. I’m dealing with a bullying issue of my own right now, and it isn’t easy. Bravo for you, and you know don’t like anything about fish. I’m not here because you’re a fisherman. I’m here because you are a kind and thoughtful soul, and you show off the peaceful beauty of our state, you share the joys of fatherhood, and help others see the peace and reflection a quiet and mainly solitary hobby can bring to a person. Keep doing what you’re doing. So glad you aren’t listening to the anonymous guy who called you what he really is.
Reblogged this on The Cheeky Diva and commented:
This is a wonderful post, written by a man who was one of my first Word Press friends and readers. If you don’t already follow this blog, you should. Please help to stop bullying, in all its forms. No one should ever say such mean things about this dear man, or anyone else for that matter. I rarely re-blog, but I really want my readers who don’t already read Eric to see this. Thanks!
Cheeky Diva
Well said, Flies.
Of course, there’s also the look at the person sadly, then ignore them and help out the person being bullied (if they need it).
Unfortunately, there’s no shortage of stupid – especially not on the ‘net. but there are also guys like you who post stuff like this.
Rock on!
Eric,
Caught your post via Cheeky and so glad I did.
What a great message and a beautiful philosophy.
Fish on brother!
Red
Red and Guapo,I hope you take the time to read some (or all ) of Eric’s other posts. He’s a darling fellow Nebraskan, and I love to see his world and go on his fishing trips via his photography. You can’t help falling in love with his daughter Little E and her Spongebob Shishing pole.
I’m on it Cheeky!
Thanks for the introduction!
Red
Cheeky, I can’t say thank you enough! You’ve always been supportive to me the whole time I’ve been at this!
Us hicks gotta stick together, right? Anytime friend, any time.
Ha! That’s right! 🙂
Hicks Rule! I know douchebags, man. You neither look like one or act like one. So awesome that you weren’t upset by those words. I was told to “get bent” by a fellow blogger not too long ago, and even though we’re pals, and it was meant tongue in cheek, (I hope) it stung. It stung a lot. Divas are notorious for having thin skin.
Ha! No, it didn’t hurt at all. I think what made me the maddest was that it was anonymous. I have been called a douchbag before to my face (in younger, much less mature days), and it didn’t hurt then… But I could express my discontent right on the spot. I at least have a little respect for people who do it to my face… It’s hiding behind the Internet, where they can strike me but I can’t strike back, that got under my skin.
Oh yeah, that takes a lot of courage, to call someone a name and not even leave your own. I try hard to live by the “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” mantra. I don’t always succeed, but I’m always trying.
I’m okay with people speaking their mind… Within the context of a civil conversation. An open dialogue is important to a free society… But one must be responsible for their words. If you are going to say them, acknowledge them as yours and stand beside them!
Yep. I agree.
Hey, thanks for the read! It means a lot to me that others stand with me!
Thank you for this post…I really mean it. Obviously you endured and came out fine. I have always believed in the words: “Those who attempt to belittle others do it for no other reason but to exalt their themselves.” And the only person they are fooling are themselves.
Thank you for the post. I really mean that. You have endured and obviously came out fine. I have always believed in the saying, “Anyone who belittles another is only attempting to exalt themselves. And the only person they are fooling are themselves.”
Hey thanks! I appreciate the feedback! It means a lot to hear that I am not just speaking in a vacuum.
I did turn out fine… I just want to do what little I can to help others… These words didn’t hurt; but I was bullied as a kid, so I know what it feels like when the words do strike home.
Thanks for your feedback!
sorry, that was posted twice.
No problem! Twice is nice 😉
Saw your post reblogged by the awesome Cheeky. RESPECT! Go catch that fish 😉
And for ms. or mr. Anonymous: such a big guy/girl to post such crap, but not so big to leave your name? Go bore someone who cares!
Hey, thanks for the kind words! I probably would have been a lot less mad if they would have left their name… Then I could have talked to them directly. What makes me mad is the anonymous nature of the post… Bullying is bad; hiding and doing it is worse.
Thanks for your words of support!
I too am via Cheeky, and I loved your post. I’ve been the target of bullying also, not here on wordpress but in my life. I have come to the point, actually years ago, that I don’t accept it anymore. Stand up to bullies and usually they go away. (I doubt your bully left his real addy, more likely led to a virus. that’s how they roll, the cowards.) Wonderful blog btw! 🙂
Thanks for the kind words! I think your right on… It’s not the words that upset me, simply that I couldn’t defend myself. That is the most cowardly part of this…
Thanks again!
I am so sorry someone was so mean to you! I have thought, since starting my blog in June, that this community was nicer than the “real” people I know, and collectively “we” would never be intentionally hurtful to another writer. That really sucks!
Don’t fret! I don’t think it was a writer from our community!
Since I write a half fatherhood/half fishing blog, I get a lot of hits from people looking on Google for fishing tips… This person was one of my first hits today, so I can say with fairly high confidence which search term was theirs and what pages they clicked on. I think they might have been put off by the fact that my blog is about the “experience” of catching fish; and not the secrets of how to catch them.
This was just some random idiot from the Internet…
Judging by the feedback I have gotten from fellow bloggers, we are still in excellent company!
Thanks for your kind words! And don’t worry, my feelings weren’t hurt… I was maddest that this jerk had to make his post anonymously.
You are clearly a wise man. You know that some people are creeps but likely recognize that most people are not.
I find the creeps just louder. They get attention (their unfortunate goal, I suppose) and they remind me why I make an effort to see good in everyone. Even the creeps.
Bullies are sad people but just because their life likely sucks does not give them permission to behave that way. Bad circumstances may offer a reason but never an excuse.
I really liked your blog and thank the Cheeky Diva for introducing it to me.
I hope you and your family have a wonderful week and that 2013 is your best year ever.
Have a yummy day!
Jude
Jude,
I have read your blog in the past, so it is great to hear from you! I enjoy hearing from bloggers who I have read!
You are right that most of the time, people like this are just the vocal minority. And sometimes they can have the loudest voice, but just because the voice is loud, doesn’t make it right.
I believe in my blog and what I am doing, so one anonymous comment won’t change that!
Thanks for your kind words!
E
Thanks, E!
Definitely one of the very best posts I’ve read all year. Thanks for ending 2012 with such heart-felt, poignant words!
Thanks for your kind words! Stick around in 2013… I am going to double down on “me”!
Thanks for the read!
Hi Flies! For the record, I like the picture of you with the fish! And I like your writing.
I will never understand how people can be so flippantly and unnecessarily hurtful. People gain so little by being so childish and yet they can hurt others so much with their careless words. Am glad you have the strength of character and good humour to brush it off.
Big thanks to Cheeky Diva for the recommendation!
Hey, thanks for the read and the feedback… Now that I have ha 24 hours to stew about this, I think I have final final thoughts for a brief follow up post!
Thanks for the read!
It always makes me chuckle when they try to insult you and can’t spell. Great pictures. Great post.
Whoops! That one was on me… I would love to blame it on the anonymous author, but I am to honest for that!
I copied and pasted the second comment, but I typed in the first one… Apparently the WordPress spell check does have “douchebag” in its vocabulary!
Thanks for the read, and thanks for the catch!
Hahahahahaaha! Oh well, that doesn’t kill the spirit of the post. I hope when I get called a douchenozzle on my blog I handle it as well as you have. 🙂
Morning my fishing fathering non-douchebag friend. I see you’ve had lots of supportive comments. As I was reading through them, I noticed that you thought your comment was from a Google search hit. I get a fair amount of hits every day for that stupid post I did with all the key words, or the one that was called “free porn” I’ve been lucky no one has left a nasty comment that they didn’t find the porn they were looking for. My husband read your post, and it made him mad too. He thinks your blog is first rate. So even though he’s not a blogger, you have his support too. Have an awesome day, my friend!
Tell your husband thanks; and thanks to you for helping me to spread my post! Most of my traffic came from your initial posts!
It is nice to see all the great comments! It made me feel a lot better to know I was not alone in my feeling!
Any fisherman who quotes Thoreau, is a true poet sportsman. Bravo. Keep it up.
Hey, thanks!
I majored in English in college… So I have a little bit of reading under my belt!
Thanks for the read and the support!
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